The Eye of the Tiger

R-O-A-R

This post is inspired by my current infatuation with Katy Perry. This song has been on heavy rotation for a few months now. I have a loved one who could use a reminder of what it means to be a TIGER and I decided to post my thoughts.  So Katy sings about having at one time lost her voice,  power and basically being knocked down by people, circumstances and life in general. It doesnt end there. She goes on to sing about the "eye of the tiger." Now....the tiger is a fierce competitior, fearlessly roaming the territory, never down for the count but ALWAYS a fighter and champion.  The "eye of the tiger" synonomously refers to focus, fierce and relentless focus, on your target. Once a tiger has their target in the eyes view, nothing can stop them from pursuing their prey. This to me is an obvious metaphor and translates well to life in general. So my dear (s), never lose focus. You DO have the "eye of the tiger" and I wanna hear your ROAR!!

Every time I hear this song I feel ready for the world: I DO have the eye of the tiger. I AM a champion and you WILL hear me roar.....

In doing so, stay committed to presenting your best self to the world, in preserving your investment in yourself and your personal brand (the self you present to others) A tiger would do nothing less than that...here's how I tend to do the above... from one tiger to another...

         Tidbits

1. Own your stuff--own what's yours, leave the rest.

2. Don't take responsibility for other people's feelings and behaviors.

3. Be careful and deliberate with your words (personal FAVORITE. I LOVE words, therefore I use them carefully and pay close attention to the words others use with me.

4. No personalizing- its not always about you.

5. Do not offer advice

6. Take care of your relationships. This is key and can be difficult when things are rough. Remember your true supports will always have your back so its important to cultivate your relationships.

7. Focus only on what is within your locus of control. Don't waste time on things outside of your control. It's futile and time is precious.

8. Beware of toxic relationships

   Habits

1. Early to bed early to rise

2. Focus on one thing at a time

3. Listen more, talk less, act ONLY after thinking things through

4. Let your goal in resolving conflicts be about finding solutions instead of being right

5. Unplug - Take some time to unplug from the world and media

6. Quiet time

7. Simplify, de-clutter often (mental and physical spaces)

8. Rituals and routines, systems (morning/evening, create structure in your day and meaninful rituals)

9. Surround yourself with possibility and positivity. Be hypervigilant about who and what you allow in your mental and physical space.

10. Daily motivation and inspiration- find something everyday that motivates and inspires you

11. Find a hobby - something that interests you and that you can devote time and commit to

Rest Well Maya....

May 28, 2014

Homage to Dr. Angelou......today we lost a wonderful soul in the physical world, who is yet free and ever present in spirit. I absolutely LOVE Maya Angelou. She taught my generation and generations before that "your life is a classroom and we are all teachers." One of my many favorite quotes from her states "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." This is true in our daily interactions with others. You may not remember what the cashier at the local market looked like, but you will remember if you walked away feeling like a valued customer...or not. This is VERY true in the therapy room. My goal is to stay attuned to my client and help them to feel me in that space with them authentically, no matter how messy my authentic self might present at that moment. In my choice to be vulnerable with my client, they feel and know that I am "all in" with them. So I know this quote to be true.

What I have been reminded of over the past couple months is that my life is really not about me. Instead, my life is about what I can do to make another life better.

We all have the tendency to focus on ourselves....me me me. I recently realized..that's not it. I am committing to and making effort to move from being self-centered to "other centered." That doesn't mean forget about my needs but focusing on just me somehow doesn’t feel right nor is it fulfilling or adding much value. Significant, heartfelt, soul wrenching losses and life transitions have a way of helping you self-reflect and readjust priorities. This is my promise to you. Join me?

The Forgotten Body...

So I am obsessed with "Ted talks" and have included two of my favorites. Content is very different but the common theme is about not allowing shame to silence. One challenges the dogma that influences what society thinks a woman's body and appearance should be and look like, while the other challenges the stigma of mental illness and reluctance in asking for and seeking support. Both topics I am passionate about.

Recently I had a minor foot surgery (on both feet...not a great idea) and had an unexpected visceral reaction to the scars left behind. I can only describe it as a sense of sympathy and remorseful sadness for the thought of what my body had just endured (mind you, the scar was small...). So although my reaction was bigger than the circumstance, it caused me to think about the pain and suffering we put our bodies through for the sake of trying to meet and adhere to societal expectations; to assimilate, if you will. Instead of reverence, we have developed a deep unappreciation for the human body and the natural beauty it envelopes. I was gently reminded of the bodies’ amazing capacity to heal itself, under the right conditions, under the right circumstances. Although this video talks about the body from a size perspective, I think the principle is the same.  Find an appreciation for your body and know that human nature has a way of adjusting and correcting flaws in its very own natural way. If the body can heal itself, can we also heal our thinking and boldly challenge stereotypes?
Courageous beauty: Brittany Gibbons at TEDxBGSU ...

The second talk is about a young, talented comedian's once very private battle with depression. He discusses the consequences of keeping this secret and challenges the stigma around sharing such information, in an effort to challenge others in doing the same.

Confessions of a Depressed Comic --click below

https://www.ted.com/speakers/kevin_breel

Mindfulness Craze...

Ever felt out of touch? As if the world was passing you by and you were missing out on the precious details? Try mindfulness.

Mindfulness is the practice of choosing what to focus your attention on. In a world of many distractions, it is yet possible to notice and observe your surroundings and environment while mindfully focusing your attention elsewhere.

According to Jon Kabat- Zinn " “Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way; on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.” Meaning, deliberately and intentionally focusing your attention either externally or internally, in a non-judgemental way. This means, having your thoughts, feelings, emotions and experiences..without judgment. Think of it as being an "observer" of your life. Can be pretty liberating.

Kabat-Zinn, is a famous teacher of mindfulness meditation and the founder of the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction program at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center. And I love his work. Try mindfulness. Some other suggestions for being more present in your life include:

1. Reduce technology - yes, it is possible to turn off the iPhone for the evening. Do it- see how it feels.

2. Be fully present- it's important to be present wherever you are, whomever you might be with. Be FULLY present. Don't disengage. Stay connected.

3. Give full attention (this goes hand in hand with #2)- give full attention and focus to the present moment, however pleasant or unpleasant it may be.

4. Eye contact- give courtesy of direct eye contact. It is quite difficult to not pay attention to someone while looking them in the eye:)

5. Show genuine interest - speaks for itself. People can feel when you aren't interested.

   Benefits of beginning a mindfulness practice:

1. Stress reduction

2. Reduce ruminating thoughts

3. Improve quality of relationships

4. Boost working memory

5. Less emotional reactivity

   What mindfulness is NOT. Mindfulness is not the same as meditation. While meditative benefits (ie. feeling more relaxed) are a byproduct, mindfulness is simply about increasing awareness and focus. See more on mindfulness at: http://www.wildmind.org/applied/daily-life/what-is-mindfulness

   I dare you to try it!